September 06, 2020

Reflecting on Gardening Mentors

painting

Dear gardening friends: I've been holding off on blogging and visiting my favorite blogs for some time now. My mom passed in July. I won't go into the details because there's just too much. Plus, we all face death at some time or another, so you all know how difficult it is to lose someone you love. She didn't die from COVID-19, although that certainly complicated things.

Anyway, my emotions are a little ragged, life has been a little crazy, and we're still busy with this and that. I'm just now getting back to thinking about blogging. I love it, and I love your blogs, too. I do plan for many plant conversations in the months ahead!

My mom, my paternal grandmother, and my dad were my first gardening and nature influencers and mentors. Mom was a gardener (she always had beautiful borders and interesting plants) and Dad was a Boy Scout executive (he helped me appreciate nature at a very early age). (Dad is still with us, and he certainly is facing adjustments of his own.) Grandma was a gardener, plant-lover, and painter. The vase with flowers shown here was one Grandma painted, Dad framed, and Mom appreciated enough to hang on her bedroom wall. I am honored and blessed to be able to display it in my own home now to remember them all.

Thank you for being patient with me. Garden bloggers and writers are truly special. I appreciate you all!

43 comments:

  1. It is a beautiful painting, and how wonderful to see your grandmother's hand and eye at work each time you look at it.
    Take care, you have been missed.

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    1. Thank you, Diana. The photo doesn't do it justice; she really captured the hints of light hitting the wall behind the vase. Yes, special memories of loved ones who go before us will always be with us.

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  2. Beth, I’m so very sorry to hear about your mother. Nothing really prepares us for that loss. I’m so glad to hear you treasure the garden lessons she “taught” you, along with your grandmother. I hope those sweet memories will always be a source of love and comfort to you. Hugs.

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    1. Thanks, Jane. Yes, I do believe the pleasant memories will help. She had a productive and relatively long life. She was a good mentor in many ways.

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  3. I'm sorry to hear of your loss, Beth. I wish I could share a magic formula for managing grief but, for better or worse, there isn't one. We each face the process differently and on our own schedule. Those I've lost creep into my thoughts at unexpected times but I've come to think of those moments as life affirming rather than sad. May you find comfort in your memories as well. Best wishes.

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    1. Kris, what a kind and thoughtful response. I have found the same thing... the people I love come into my mind unexpectedly, and always leave me feeling happier. So many good memories arise, and linger.

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    2. Thanks for the encouragement, Kris and Pat. I believe that will be the case for me, too, as it seems to be already. She had a full and happy life, so that is helpful.

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  4. I am so sorry Beth, It shakes your world to lose a parent I know. I am glad you have an online community of friends to share with...Michelle

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    1. I am glad, too, Michelle, and you are one of them. :) It is tough, but it is part of life.

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  5. Oh my . . . sad for you . . .
    I will keep you in my caring, thoughts and heart . . .
    So many times I think and say, I miss “my mom.”

    Love the painting from your grandmother, now in your home,
    for you to see, reflect, treasure.

    Isn’t it grand to have had mother’s, grandmothers, dads who
    gave us the love of the outdoors, of growing things, of nature,
    of flowers, of first spring blooms, Jack-in-the Pulpit, Trillium, more.
    Forever gifts, thoughts, memories.

    Sending you my caring . . .
    love
    lynne

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    1. Thank you, Lynne. Yes, those memories and those people are blessings for our days. :)

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  6. I am so sorry for your loss. It is never easy, but is so much harder right now.

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    1. Thank you, Kristin. Yes, COVID made things challenging, but in some ways simpler. Hard to explain. But it's helpful to have a loving family.

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  7. Hello Beth,
    Sending prayers and hugs. Thank you for sharing the memories of how you grew up with gardeners in your life. A special tribute to them as well.
    The painting is lovely.
    Love and Prayers,
    Carla

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    1. Hi Carla: I appreciate the prayers and virtual hugs. A picture of the painting doesn't do it justice, but it helped to explain where I'm "at" these days.

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  8. My sincere sympathy, Beth. I know how hard it is to lose a mother. You are fortunate to have shared a love of gardens and gardening with her. I hope that shared passion will bring many happy memories.

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    1. Thanks, Pat. Yes, I do have many pleasant memories of the lovely gardens she created and maintained. She had a way with borders, rhododendrons, roses, and many other aspects of gardening.

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  9. Beth, so sorry about your loss, that happened to me two years ago, so I know how you must feel, it's life we all know but it doesn't make it easier. Memories help, gardening helps, hope you find solace and strength. Warm wishes,

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    1. Thanks, Lula. Very true. Your words are helpful. Yes, gardening and hiking are very good therapy!

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  10. It's so hard to lose a loving mother. Much love and many hugs to you. The painting is wonderful. xogail

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    1. Thanks for the kind words, Gail. I feel blessed that these people were my elders. :)

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  11. Beth, I'm so sorry to hear this about your beloved mother. I'm sorry for your loss.

    Like you, my mother (and father) were my first garden mentors and they're always with me in some ways as I work in the garden and appreciate their influence in my life.

    Wishing you strength and peace.

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    1. Thanks, Tina. It's comforting in some way to be able to recall those first lessons and influences, isn't it? :)

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  12. Don't you fret any Beth. We will be right here when you decide to come back. I didn't touch my garden a year after she died. I guess too many memories. Grief strikes us all in different ways. This picture is a treasure for sure. Beautifully executed and that vase is full of wonderful memories of your loved ones.

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    1. Thanks, Lisa. What you say about grief is so true. It's interesting--the fact that the garden is slowing down for this season this year is somehow comforting. I'm looking forward to next spring and a new start to the garden.

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  13. The painting is a treasured memory as are all the gardening knowledge that your grandmother and parents passed on to you.

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    1. Thank you. That is so true. The mentors of our lives probably don't even realize how powerful their influences are. :)

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  14. Oh Beth, I am so very, very sorry. Everyone deals with loss in a different way - I couldn't even think about the blog for months after my dad passed away. You have to, unapologetically, do what is right for you - full stop. You and your family are in my thoughts XOXO

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    1. Thanks, Margaret. I've wanted to blog but we've just been so busy. And I couldn't get past the topic of this post before moving on to gardening/plants/etc. Now I feel like I'm ready. Bless you. :)

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    1. Thank you, Jason. I appreciate the support of our gardening/blogging folks. :)

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  16. I'm so sorry for your loss. It's been six years since I lost my mother and I think about her every day, but the sadness doesn't hurt now and memories make me smile. I do remember that for a year after her death I was all at sixes and sevens because so many of my routines and habits that revolved around her had to evolve. The painting is beautiful and will hold treasured memories for you.

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    1. That's a beautiful way to describe the grieving process, Lynne. I'm doing OK. It's really complicated (as it often is) and COVID has made the entire experience even weirder. But we're getting through, and it's comforting that Mom had a productive, longish life. She was a force!

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  17. Such gifts they shared with you Beth. And what a beautiful painting. Yes it does take time to heal our grief. For me I am still finding my way now complicated with a serious fall 4 weeks ago which is keeping me sidelined. But know you are loved and thought of daily as I know how difficult it is. Bask in the memories and the love and we will all be waiting when you are ready.

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    1. Hugs, Donna. I've been thinking about you recently, too, since you so recently lost your mom, as well. Oh gosh, so sorry to hear that you had a fall. I hope you will heal quickly. 2020 has been a difficult year, hasn't it? Take care.

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  18. Losing a parent is never easy, Beth. We lost ours many decades ago. I can understand your resistance to blogging over recent months. I’ve felt the same, and I have not had your, well, let’s call it excuse for lack of a better word. These are stressful times! Hoping you rediscover your equilibrium. Sending love.

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    1. Thank you, Helen. I've wanted to blog, but I really didn't have time. Then recently after her death I've just needed to acknowledge it before moving forward. I truly appreciate the support. :)

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  19. I was sorry to hear about your mom. Please take care, and I hope you find comfort in your garden!

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    1. Thanks, Debbie. Yes, the garden and nature are definitely good therapy. :)

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  20. So sorry to hear about your loss Beth. A love of gardening is a wonderful connection from one generation to the next. I love the painting.

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  21. I'm sorry to hear about your mother, Beth

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